Cuts to the BLU Medic resting on a hammock in Dustbowl

Medic: (breaths in deeply, then out) Was für ein wundervoller Tag!

Heavy: (offscreen, firing his Brass Beast) Where is doctor!?

Medic: (facepalm) Schweinhund. (he stands up, takes his Medi Gun, then approaches the Heavy) Ja?

Heavy: Charge me, doctor!

Medic: -eyeroll and sigh- (fires his Medi Gun at the Heavy, overhealing him)

Heavy: (continues firing BB, devastating several RED mercenaries) Ya-dadadadadadada ya-dadadadadadada do-de-da-va-da-da-dada ka-boom... ka-boom!

Scout: (offscreen) Yo, doc! Can ya help me out here!?

Pans to the Scout, who is stabbed in the chest with the Sniper's Kukri

Medic: Ja, ja, give me a moment.

Scout: Aaaaagh! This f**kin' hurts!

Medic: (facepalm) Vhy must my life be a misery? (takes out the Crusader's Crossbow and shoots at the Scout)

Scout: Um... whaddya doin', doc?

Medic: Do you really vant to know?

Scout: Hey, hey, no, no, no. Don't even think about firing at me!

Medic: (fires a crossbow at the Scout's kneecap)

Scout: Aagh, s**t! That was not cool, doc! That was way past messed! That, that... actually helped! I salute ya, ya insane doctor! (leaps back up on his feet and runs off) Whoo!

Medic: (sighs) Zat vas really tiring vork. Okay, Heavy, I'm back.

Cuts to the Heavy's body, revealing that he's been backstabbed

Medic: (gasps) Nein! Achtung, Spy!

Spy: (uncloaks from behind) Looking for me, doctor?

Medic: (groans) Verdammt!

The Spy takes out his other balisong and backstabs the Medic, knocking him unconscious

Spy: (laughs; mockingly) Medic! Medic! Medic! (laughs) Scout was right, you suck at diagnosis!

A stab sound is heard

The RED Spy falls over, revealing the BLU Spy from behind having backstabbed him

Spy: (headshake) Vous êtes un salaud pathétique.

Cuts to the Medic's body

Spy: Don't worry, doctor. Help is on the way.